(almost) 25

cue Lorde’s ‘Secrets From a Girl (Who’s Seen it All)’ - “couldn’t wait to turn 15, then you blink and it’s been 10 years”

it is really weird to think about living and breathing for a quarter of a century. I used to HATE getting older, now I feel like I hesitantly open my arms for her embrace. there is a huge difference getting older in your twenties, I’ve noticed at least.

I feel this lingering dread, not to get older itself. but to get older as a woman. most women probably feel this. it’s terrifying. I don’t want to get too into the weeds because I’ll definitely sound like a mad woman, but if you’re a woman - you know.

as I rapidly approach my quarter life (crisis?), I try to rewire my brain to feel lucky and fortunate to reach such an age, not feel old and ‘gross’. [side note: I realize how incredibly young and NOT gross 25 still is] I know it sounds morbid, but a lot of people don’t make it 25, who definitely should have. so I’ve got to feel lucky about that.

may I welcome my growing age and wrinkles with a soft smile instead of hasty treatment. may I be so fortunate for another 25 years. to play and laugh and eat and drink and read and travel.

that’s all. x